Random Hearts
by Queens of the mole people
Summary: this is an incredibly random story that makes very little sense. sora travels to different KH worlds commiting random acts of insanity and violence. written by Insanity. rated m for language.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: i do not own any KH characters...that is all.

**A/N: please understand that this was written very late and is total randomness. i am the author of the lost chronicles. beware of pointless, random acts of violence and Owl bashing.**

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**Random Hearts**

Chapter 1

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Once upon a day, Sora was walking through the Hundred Acre Wood. He noticed an owl perched on a fence and went to see what it was doing. When he got there, he noticed the owl was talking to itself and figured it might want to talk to him.

"Hi." He said. "What's your name?"

The owl stared blankly at him for a moment, then answered "My name is Owl."

"Oh," said Sora, "That's gay."

"What do you mean, gay? You mean that it is happy? Of course over the years I have grown quite fond of my name and do consider it efficiently joyous…"

"Enough of your fancy-talk bird!" Sora yelled and chopped the owl in half with his keyblade, but it didn't do anything because he was in Hundred Acre Wood and his keyblade didn't appear.

"What the hell?!" exclaimed Sora "It must be some kind of conspiracy!!" he grabbed the owl (who was still talking about his name) and whipped it at a nearby tree. Owl sqwuaked and tried to fly away but someone threw a grenade at it and it exploded into oblivion.

"Hey! Nice one Piglet!" Sora high fived the small pig, except it was more like a low five considering Piglet was only 1 inch tall.

"H-h-h hi S-s-s-sora." The stutterirng hog said.

"Shut up you miserable swine!!!" Sora went crazy for 7.23 seconds and dug a 5 by 5 metre hole and buried Piglet alive.

"Hey Sora" Aladdin said out of nowhere.

"What the fuck? Am I in Agrabah?"Sora asked.

And yes, he was.

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owls think they're sooo smart. WELL WHO'S SMART NOW BITCH!!!! HUMANS HAVE CITIES AND YOU HAVE BUT THE TREES IN THE FOREST!!!...SO THERE!!!

reviews and suggestions are encouraged.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: this was also written very late and it completely pointless. second chapter of Random Hearts. beware of Agrabah bashing.

Disclaimer: i do not own KH or any characters. any comments towards accents of any country are not ment offensively.**

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**Random Hearts**

Chapter 2

One sunny day in Agrabah, Sora was browsing the various stands in the Bazaar. He was getting hungry so he decided to find something to eat. He spotted an Arabian man selling melons in the far back corner of the market. He walked over.

"How much are those melons?" Sora asked, picking up a particularily juicy one.

"5.95." the man said in a heavy Agrahbian accent (like an Indian accent).

"5.95!!! WHAT THE FUCK!! Did you grow this melon yourself?" Sora questioned the man's authority.

"No. Melons are in high demand. $5.95."

"Shut up you demanding melon!!!" Sora whipped the melon he was holding at the man and it hit him in the eye.

"Well, that takes care of that then." Sora dusted his hands at a job well done.

"Hey Sora."

"Oh hey Aladdin. You wouldn't happen to have any melons on you would you?" Sora kicked Aladdin in the shin and stole his wallet.

"No." Said Aladdin, then he exploded.

_It's a good thing I stole his wallet._ Sora thought to himself as he walked out of the marketplace into the desert.

"What am I doing here?" he said, and ran back inside. "Maybe I'll just rob Aladdin again while I'm here."

Sora walked over to the front of Aladdin's house, but stopped when he noticed a pole with a sign next to it where the door should have been.

_To get to my house, climb pole._

_-Al._

"Screw that!" said Sora. He then disintegrated the pole with his keyblade and then used his Genie summon.Genie appeared out of the air with many useless magical explosions.

"Hey Sora!" Robin William's voice said. "What can I help you with?"

"Shut your face smokelegs! Now, make me appear in Aladdin's house so I can rob him." Sora tries to cut the Genie's legs off but they were just smoke so nothing happened.

"But Sora, Al 's got no money. He's poor remember. He is a helpful, trustworthy young lad who is always ni-"

"Yeah well I'm not trustworthy! Now do what I say or I'll Lock you in a small household object for many years, forcing you to grant the wishes of others who rub that object until one wishes you free."

"But that already happened. I live in a lamp. It's right there, didn't you notice?"

Sora ignored Genie and was about to stir fry him with a light teriyake sauce when something caught his eye.

"Hey! A shiny teapot!" Sora went over and stole the teapot from whoever it belonged to.

"No you idiot!! That's my lamp!!" said Genie as he disappeared inside of it.

_This is clearly not Genie's lamp. _Said Sora who started rubbing the teapot to shine it up so he could sell it on keyBay. Suddenly, Genie arose from the teapot.

"What do you wish, Oh Master." Genie said.

"I wish for Goofy and Donald." Sora said. He haden't seen his friends in a long time.

Goofy and Donald appeared.

"Anything else, Oh Master." Genie said.

"Yes" said Sora. "I WISH FOR YOU TO IMPLODE!"

And he did.

"Gawrsh Sora, wadya do that for?" Goofy said annoyingly.

"What are you?" said Sora. Then they suddenly appeared in Wonderland.

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ya...so...review? 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: dont own KH and all that...

A/N: so yeah. more crazyness. and ther will be more. muahahaha. (all in monotone). goofy and donald bashing. mild bashing of the queen of hearts.any comments towards the deep south are based on stereotype.

REVIEW GODAMMIT!!!!

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Random Hearts

Chapter 3

One pimped-out afternoon, Sora, Donald and Goofy were walking through that forest with the different sized mushrooms in Wonderland.

"I'm hungry Sora, let's get something to eat." Said Donald in his Duckccent (accent with duck replacing a).

"I didn't understand a fucking word you just fucking said." Sora said, spotting an acorn on the ground. He was hungry so he decided to check it out.

"All right an acorn!" Sora exclaimed, and popped it into his mouth.

"Hey." Said Donald, annoyed.

"Shut up Donald, no one wants to hear your jibberish. If I threw you into a blender right now and you said that same sentence, there would be no difference in how they sounded." Sora said this as he started to grow to abnormal height.

"Woah. Am I on opium or something?" Sora asked himself stupidly.

"Hey Sora! _Hyuck _can you see my house from there? _Hyuck hyuck hyuck," _Goofy guffawed like a fat hic from the deep south.

"Of coarse not you idiot! Your house is on a different planet." Sora rolled his eyes and then stomped Donald to death.

As Goofy stared at the bloody, feathery remains of his fowl friend (haha fowl), Sora was slowly starting to shrink back to normal height.

"Why'd ya kill Donald Sora? Who will fly the Gummy Ship now?" Goofy said threw no tears because dog-like things don't cry and because he had always been secretly jelous of Donald's mad magic skillz.

"I WILL!" Sora had always wanted to kill Donald because he wanted to fly the Gummy Ship.

"Ok, well, let's go then, I guess." Goofy said, tucking Donald's wand into one of the ten thousand pockets in his pants.

Sora and Goofy walked through a hole in the hedges and found themselves in a strange court garden filled with talking cards.

"Alright! A casino!" Exclaimed Sora excitedly.

"Gawrsh, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." Said Goofy

"We were never in Kansas you idiot." Sora was about to slice Goofy's arm off with his Keyblade, but Goofy took out Donald's wand. He tried to attack Sora with lightning but he turned himself into a pen instead.

"Alright! A Disney pen!!" Sora picked up Goofy (now a writing instrument) and placed him in his hoodie pocket.

Suddenly, Sora noticed he was surrounded by many evil-looking cards bearing sharp weapons.

"Woah. So I guess I can't play some craps (casino game) with you guys." Sora started to back away but the cards grabbed him and brought him before a huge wooden throne with a fat bitch sitting in it. There was a cage beside the throne that had a blonde girl in it.

"What is this?! Slavery!" Sora gasped at the sight and then ate six grapes.

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yes i know that i am deranged. what? cant someone just eat six grapes?!

reviews and suggestions are welcomed and encouraged.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: more insanity and complete nonsense. beware of extreme Goofy abuse and violence.

Disclaimer: i do not own any KH characters (probably a good thing since if it was real Goofy's life would SUCK!).

enjoy.

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Random Hearts

Chapter-4

One six-graped evening, Sora was being put on trial for stealing the queen of hearts' tarts. He stood on the podium while the queen questioned him.

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!!!" Screamed the queen and waved her fat sausage hands around like a retarded ape.

"What the hell?! You didn't even try me!!!! You just said "let's have a trial" for no reason then you screamed what you screamed just now!!!" Sora was getting incredibly angry with the inhabitants of this trippy world.

"I will prove my innocence!!!" Sora exclaimed, then he wrote a notice of confession in Goofy's handwriting using Goofy (the pen).

"You see!!! I'm innocent! Goofy is the wrong-doer!"

"Well," said the jury (made entirely of strange birds and creatures) "Where is this _Goofy _character?"

"Uhh, here." Said Sora, throwing the Goofpen on the podium top. He then went completely insane for several minutes, killing every jury member, then he also killed the queen.

"Goodness! How curious!" said Alice.

"Shut up hoe!" Sora screamed and then he took out a boom box from his pocket and hit play. Sora used his Gasolina magic to spray Alice with gasoline, while the song Gasolina by Daddy Yankee played in the backround. He then used Fira and burned her alive while she still was in the golden cage.

"Well, I guess I should go now," he said. He then picked up Goofy the Pen and walked to a glowing circle on the ground behind some hedges. He walked onto it and some glowy sparkly things floated up from it. Sora went to a random menu in the middle of nowhere(the real world) and someone pressed "board gummi ship".Sora was then transported to the gummy ship.

He quickly flew to Traverse Town and went to Merlin's house.

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"Hey wizard!" Sora yelled as he walked through the doors (curtains) of Merlin's teapot-thing house. Merlin's face was only 1 inch away but Sora still screamed at the top of his lungs like a crazy person.

"FIX GOOFY YOU CRUSTY OLD FOOL!!!" Sora stole the old man's wand and cane and then kicked him the knee.

"You stupid bastard!!!" screamed Merlin, clutching his knee, "Why did they ever chose you as the keyblade master!!!????!?!? You're just an insane kleptomaniac who enjoys the pain of others!!!"

"Stuff it geezoid! Now fix Goofy or TASTE KEY!!!!" Sora screamed and pointed his keyblade at Merlin. He then began to cackle insanely with his eyes looking separtate ways.

"Holy shit!!!" Merlin screamed, and then turned Goofy back.

"Acceptable, you ancient Woodmuffin." Sora screamed crazily. He then beat Goofy close to death with the end of his keyblade. After that, he grabbed Merlin's wallet and then stuffed him into a small box nearby. He then lit the box on fire and flew away on the gummi ship.

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yes, well, that was the fourth chapter and i hope u enjoyed.

REVIEWS AND SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOMED AND ENCOURAGED!!!!!

-Insanity


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